How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

About half of the couples I work with decide they would like to write their own vows for their ceremony. Sometimes their own vows are in place of the traditional vows and sometimes they are in addition to them. But in nearly all cases, when it comes time to sit down to actually write them, they hit a wall and get writer’s block and I get a call for help.

I tell my couples to break it down to a 3-part outline:

1. Think about what it was that first attracted you to your future spouse. Was it his/her sense of humor? Was it his/her beautiful eyes? Was it his/her confidence? His/her romantic nature?  

2. Think about what it is that is making your relationship work. What is the common ground, the things you like to do together, the qualities that make your relationship exciting, and how you compliment each other?

3. Tell your partner what you envision the future to look like. Does the future include children, starting a home, travel, adventure, etc.?

Remember, you are not writing a novel. You only need to talk for a minute or so; the length is up to you. Don’t be afraid to be funny (I promise to do the dishes, I promise to rub your feet, I promise not to be too annoying, etc.). It’s your chance to declare the personal reasons why you are marrying each other and it should reflect your past, present and future, said in your own words with your own personalities.